


haha! I do that!

by rainbowrabblerouser



Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [7]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Acting Like One Another, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Holding Hands, Humor, M/M, Wedding Rings, mirroring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser
Summary: Geralt and Jaskier start acting more and more like each other because they are married in every way but in reality.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712041
Comments: 5
Kudos: 267





	haha! I do that!

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post:
> 
> https://rainbowrabblerouser.tumblr.com/post/617992268610256896
> 
> -
> 
> title from this vine:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvFM-M2q9D0

Geralt begins to notice it when Jaskier doesn’t know what to say.

There were very few, rare moments in which the bard was rendered speechless. So in Jaskier fashion, he teases Geralt by imitating him going “Hm.”

But Geralt also started being a little dramatic. Using some flowery language to express himself. Much like Jaskier did.

“I suppose it is melancholic. Maybe they’re all yearning for something they can never have.”

“You make it sound romantic. Even though these people have been put under a curse, Geralt!”

Geralt just scoffed.

Screw him for being observant.

Jaskier never noticed anything like that. Despite being a spy, he was very oblivious.

Geralt began to think that Jaskier had been hired as an intelligence agent because people thought that he was attractive, which Geralt agreed with, but it was still not a good reason to trust someone with secrets.

“We need to pretend to be married,” Jaskier says when they arrive at the ball.

“All right, let me get my ring out.”

They had done this often. Just to make sure Jaskier didn’t get attacked and to warn people not to do anything risky around them. Geralt would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy it at all. Especially how Jaskier would dance with him, pulling him in close and holding his hand the whole time. Even sitting in his lap.

But it wasn’t real.

Geralt knew better than to expect Jaskier to feel the same. Jaskier was a very open person. He could have anyone. But here he was, willingly tagging along with him. Maybe he really liked Geralt. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he did it for safety.

As they walked in, arms linked, Geralt held him close as if they really were in love, Jaskier kissing him when they found their seats. 

“Please do not die while I get us drinks,” Geralt said before he kissed Jaskier again, then kissed his hand sweetly. “I’ll be right back, love.”

Jaskier swoons and bats his eyelashes like he’s a happy newlywed. 

“Don’t be long, darling.”

Geralt winks at him and Jaskier just knows he’s all red now from blushing.

When he sighs and watches him go, he doesn’t realize someone’s watching him until they tap his shoulder and he yelps. Who the fuck?

“So. You’re Dandelion, right? I didn’t know you were married. And to the Geralt of Rivia! From your songs!”

It was a young woman. She looked a little bit older than Ciri. A teenager.

“I’m a very big fan. Just wanted to say you inspired me to play. Also, congratulations!”

Before he could say anything, she was gone, linking arms with another young woman.

Guess he was the king of the gays? Lovely!

Geralt returns with drinks. Some hard liquor for Jaskier and a very girly one for himself. How that ends up happening was a mystery to the people who were obviously watching them. They are celebrities, so it’s not really a big deal.

But the issue is that that fan was probably bound to tell everyone at whatever Jaskier fan club meeting that he was married to Geralt, and it wouldn’t even sound farfetched! Because they were always together and he wrote every single song in his discography about him! Fuck! They were expecting some lovey dovey album like he was Lady Taylor Swift or something! He couldn’t compete with that if it wasn’t true!

Jaskier may bullshit details when it came to battles and fights in songs, but when he was describing his feelings, they were all real. It was like singing your diary out loud to thousands of strangers. And he was definitely in love with Geralt. So much so that he had given up on hooking up with strangers since he started travelling with him! That took a lot of commitment for Jaskier to abstain from sex with anyone who wasn’t him.

“You look shocked. Did anyone hurt you?” Geralt already had his hands on his sword, ready to attack whoever did this to Jaskier. But Jaskier just put a hand over Geralt’s and held it. Then, he leaned over and put his head on Geralt’s shoulder.

“No, just saw a fan. It’s okay. Just still can’t believe people really like me.”

“Of course, they like you.”

-

In the middle of them dancing, Jaskier feels tired and Geralt’s social battery runs out so they decide to call it a night. Even after they’ve left the hall, they’re still holding hands. Geralt has taken off his jacket and put it on Jaskier, most of it hanging off him as he tried to get warmth on the windy night.

Geralt was deep in thought, thinking about how Jaskier and him were in sync as they danced. How well they fit together. Like they were made for one another. As if they were really married. Soulmates. 

But he just looked down at their hands and then at Jaskier and sighed.

“Jaskier.”

“Oh no, Jaskier in B flat. What did I do this time?”

Geralt just swung their hands and grunted. 

“I was just thinking about things.”

“You know how dangerous that can be, Geralt,” Jaskier snarks. 

They stop at some bridge over a river that connected the castle where the party was and the town next to it. No one else was around. Everyone was either asleep or at the ball. Apparently, it was the biggest event of the year. Jaskier was surprised he was invited as a guest, not to play. But he had enjoyed his time with Geralt. Like he always did whenever Geralt held him close. 

“Well, I was just pondering why we keep doing this.”

Geralt waves his left hand, the golden band reflecting in the light. 

Jaskier held up his own, but his hand was intertwined with Geralt’s. He giggled as Geralt grinned at his silliness. He always felt so warm when he saw Geralt smile.

“Because it’s easy. And we like it. Also, it keeps us safe.”

“Keeps you safe.”

Jaskier could feel Geralt rolling his eyes by the tone of his voice. 

“Well, you like it. And I love it.” 

They look out into the night, watching how the moon reflects on the river and how the stars shined above them. Jaskier enjoyed his view of Geralt more.

“Enjoying this?” Geralt said, knowing that Jaskier was staring.

“What if I was? What if I said I loved dressing up and seeing you all dressed up? And going out with you with rings on and your hand in mine? What if I said–”

Geralt turned to him and said, “I love you.”

Jaskier looked up at him in disbelief. “Stole my thunder. Thanks, G–”

He was interrupted as Geralt pulled him in for a kiss. One that was real. More passionate than all of the others. One that happened at the end of plays where the hero finally got the girl and was happy and in love. Jaskier sighed into it and deepened it as he put a hand on Geralt’s neck. 

Geralt’s mind went blank as he kissed Jaskier over and over and over again. He had been waiting for the right moment and he knew Jaskier would have been talking in circles and never making a move. He had to do all the work, sometimes. 

“Does this mean we can keep the rings?”

“I stole them for a reason, Jaskier.”

-

They don’t have a big wedding because Jaskier knows that he would definitely get murdered by someone at it. Also, he knew Geralt would be too embarrassed to kiss him in front of his whole family. It was obvious that Geralt just wanted him all to himself and felt that what they had was so special that people didn’t deserve to see it.

So they have an agreement.

  
Geralt says that he’s never taking the ring off and Jaskier had already been wearing it all the time, so it was settled.

They’re married. 

Jaskier wakes up in Geralt’s arms every morning and falls asleep as Geralt kisses him with so much softness that he feels like he could melt right there because of how in love he was. There are times in which he just can’t take it and he just pulls Geralt close when they’re walking and they get sidetracked in the forest for reasons they cannot explain to Ciri and anyone else who was expecting them.

Then, Jaskier starts seeing it. 

How much Geralt was starting to act like him. 

The way Geralt began to speak in more pleasant vernacular. Poetic lines he’d come up with on the spot. And he’d hold Jaskier with such gentleness and whisper into his ear softly to wake him up. Geralt would sometimes school someone when they got Jaskier’s lyrics wrong and he’d nod his head to the beat of a tune. 

“You know, you don’t have to do this.”

“It’s for you, so of course, I’m doing it.”

Geralt had decided to break into the room of one of Jaskier’s old enemies and steal all of his parchment, ink, and quills as revenge for him staring Jaskier down the wrong way at the party they were at. Jaskier felt so offended that he had gone straight to Geralt and voiced how upset he was. 

“Isn’t this bad? I mean, I’m all for it, but you, I’m not sure.”

“I don’t care. He messed with my husband.”

Jaskier sighed as he put a hand over Geralt’s. He didn’t want to be cleaning up blood. He literally just got this new doublet. It was silky and the color “matched his eyes” according to Geralt. Also, he doubted that they were going to fuck if Geralt just murdered someone by accident and they had to hide another body.

They had a limit on the killing. Three in one evening was pushing it.

“All right. Let’s hurry so I can–” Jaskier whispers filthy things into Geralt’s ear and he could feel the tension in the air already. This was going to end well for him.

Somehow, they were able to steal a lot more than what they originally planned and Jaskier did in fact get what he wanted by the end of the night. 

“We should start stealing things from now on. Not just killing monsters.”

“Jaskier, we would end up fucking after every time and then we’d barely get anything done. You know that.”

“Well, I’d get done a lot so I guess it wouldn’t be so bad.”

Geralt could only smile at his lover, glad that they were so close that they were willing to commit crimes together for the sake of principle.

It was strange, but then again, it was like that before they were married. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @rainbowrabblerouser


End file.
